Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you never un-have a 4some
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
