Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She bit a glass in half.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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