Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
