AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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