I need help removing her.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
