Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
