At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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