Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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