If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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