try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
