first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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