check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
