I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
