Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
