I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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