She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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