I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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