Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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