she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize