Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
