Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Never let your siblings swipe right.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
