can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
