Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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