ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
