All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
