Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
