me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You left your phone here
Wait...
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