Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
