So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
