Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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