Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Please don't give away my fajitas
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
