drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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