shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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