Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
sex in a hospital.. check
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize