didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Panties = found
Randomize
