What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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