There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
