HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
