Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
