i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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