is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
