we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
