As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
