I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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