Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Too much gin, very little bucket
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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