Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
