dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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