It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
