What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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