hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
