Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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