Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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